


The Man Who Lost Much

by ChillyHollow



Category: Cormoran Strike Series - Robert Galbraith
Genre: Angst, Arson, Dreams, Gen, Insomnia, Melancholy, Murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:14:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24624559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChillyHollow/pseuds/ChillyHollow
Summary: A short melancholy tale….
Relationships: Charlotte Campbell Ross/Cormoran Strike, Robin Ellacott/Cormoran Strike
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	The Man Who Lost Much

Occasionally he had trouble sleeping.Tonight was one of those nights, so he moved a kitchen chair next to the bedroom window, opened it, and sat smoking, looking out at the dark London streets below, letting his mind drift.

He’s not thought about her in months, even though Charlotte Campbell had been the center of his life for over fifteen years.After she’d lied once too often and about something too important, he’d walked out.She’d gotten engaged less than two weeks later to an old boyfriend.She’d married him, had twins, divorced him and then married an American millionaire with whom she was currently living in Los Angeles.He only thought about her tonight because he’d seen a newspaper article that her first husband had been killed in an automobile crash over the weekend—drinking and driving too fast on a back country road.He wondered briefly what had happened to her twins.They were probably safe with a nanny somewhere on her ex-husband’s family estates.Not his problem, but he knew what it was like to suddenly lose a parent.After all, his mother had been murdered while he was away at school.

His thoughts drifted to his mother, young, lovely and loving, always chasing someone she thought was the perfect man.She’d dragged him and his little sister Lucy all over London and occasionally elsewhere after some guy, some ok, most not.They’d grown up in shabby accommodations and squats, often with just barely enough to eat, and Lucy had escaped as soon as she could to their aunt and uncle’s place in Cornwall where life was stable and there was always food and shelter and certainty.He’d escaped into the military where there was always food and shelter and uncertainty.He’d thought he would settle down with Charlotte after he lost his lower leg to a roadside bomb, but that had just been a fantasy.Charlotte could no more settle down than he could run a marathon.He didn’t indulge in fantasies these days.Except when he was wide awake in the middle of the night.

He looked out onto Denmark Place, wondering if ghosts walked that back alley.After all, thirty-seven people had died in a fire set by an arsonist in the early eighties in a ramshackle building on Denmark Place.He knew his history and when he signed the lease on his office and then the flat, he’d made sure the landlord provided fire extinguishers and had checked the fire escapes himself.He was careful with his cigarettes, too.These old buildings (and his dated from the late 17th Century) were tinderboxes.He periodically had the extinguishers checked and he made sure that Robin knew how to get to the fire escapes from all three floors.He checked them monthly, too, even though he’d find it hard to get down one of the ladders.Robin could though, and that was what was important.

Robin. He tried not to think about his business partner more than absolutely necessary.She was both the light of and the bane of his existence.Her cheerful greeting each morning made him happy.The lingering scent of the perfume she wore in their shared office made him melancholy each night after she went home to her husband, leaving him alone in the office.If she’d not married that dolt, it wouldn’t matter, however.She was the sort of woman who should be married with a stable home life, kids and a dog.If it hadn’t been Matthew she would have married someone else like him.She was the exact opposite of the one night stands he occasionally picked up at a bar and went home with.

But really she wasn’t that different from him in some ways, he thought as he blew smoke out into the night, she cared about the truth as much as he did.She got the same satisfaction out of figuring things out that he did.She was brave and met life head on.He admired that in her, even more than he admired her trim bottom as she bent over each night to turn off her computer.She was funny, smart, insightful about people (hopefully not about how he felts about her), and she’d been invaluable in building up his business.He didn’t know what he’d do without her when she invariably became pregnant and quit working to take care of the baby.He was surprised her husband hadn’t managed to get her to quit already.But he thought it was inevitable.No matter how much she loved the job, she would put duty to her children first.That was the sort of woman she was.And given the sort of man he was, he’d make sure she never knew how much he cared about her. Better that she didn’t know he loved her.He wouldn’t put her in the position of having to choose.He knew that story ended in heartbreak for everyone.

Charlotte had ultimately made him choose between work and her.He’d chosen his work.He didn’t want Robin to have to face that sort of decision. He’d keep her around as long as he could, then he’d let her go to have the sort of life she deserved, a secure life with a family and house and dog and nice car.Not a small cheap flat at the top of a decrepit building with a man who was ten years older, disabled, and poor and who had melancholy thoughts late at night.

He put out his cigarette very carefully and went to bed, perhaps to dream.

**Author's Note:**

> The story was inspired by the Denmark Place fire of 1980. You can read about it here but it's pretty grim, hence the "graphic depictions of violence" warning. I think Strike's building is visible in the background of the news photos illustrating these but I'm not certain.
> 
> http://londonfirejournal.blogspot.com/2010/01/soho-club-fire-1980.html
> 
> https://robslondon.com/the-denmark-place-fire-1980/


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